I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Im part way to drunk.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
