Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize