so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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