i jhust puked up my retainher.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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