You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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