Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
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Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
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I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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