As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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