i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize