I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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