try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
