He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Randomize
