Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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