The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
