I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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