Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
