wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
