I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
