This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
