I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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