he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
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He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
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you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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