From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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