Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
