woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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