Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
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I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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