I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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