I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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