u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
