Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
