My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
