Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize