I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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