At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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