I love black thongs
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
