It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
