I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
