That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Sorry about my life...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
