miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize