It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
