my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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