it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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