Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
