I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
