But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is it because I queefed?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
