just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
