Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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