shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
