"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
