Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
