THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
