I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
