dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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