i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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