Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
