when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
