To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
