Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
