WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
