It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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