I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
