Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
